&Follow SJoin OnSugar
Does September 6th really mean the end of white? Or are we living in the fashion past?

Closet Messy

Posted By AnnieHermesblue on Sep 7, 2010 at 10:42PM


The cat is out of the bag!  I am really messy, so hideously messy that I lost the first draft of this blog.  Here we go again:

I am a closet mess, similar to an alcoholic housewife who hides her vodka in the washing machine (I do that too, except in my case I'm hiding it from myself).

So let's start with my car.  I am the kind of messy that when I'm driving and see someone I don't know well (or want to impress), I look straight ahead in an attempt to avoid them seeing me in my car because it looks like EL Nino did a drive by last night and I was the only victim.  There have even been times on the "Campus" Marina when I've seen an attractive man running by I've walked right by my car for fear of being identified as its owner.  The contents of my car generally include: a collection of old coffee cups, cigarette boxes, and perhaps even a rogue undergarment from those good old college days.  It's no wonder that on the rare occasion "Lucy Lexus" gets washed, the poor carwash man looks at me and assumes despair.  I  hang my head,  hand him a generous tip, and hope that the next time I return he will be with his family back in his home country.

Let's move on to Thursday through Sunday - 4 days of hard partying.  How else is a single girl with boyfriend issues going to get through her 25th year?  (Yes, he now wears pleather and clear glasses without the prescription, and I also heard through the grapevine that he is trying to break into the "legging industry" just like our hot mess friend Lindsay.  He always had a thing for her, I just never thought it was that.  Now I get the role playing).  Boys aside, when my girls come over for some wine and highly caloric cuisine, I always first make sure to stash my clothes on every shelf, in every drawer, and in every closet with a closed door.  I've even been know to pull a balcony, but that only happened twice (it gets windy in San Francisco, plus we're known for our wet summers).  No refrigerator though, I have roomates!

I usually pretend to be as organized as that crazy Rachel Zoe or my pleather wearing ex, but those who truly know me know I'm far more Grey Gardens - just substitute the cat shit with an array of sweaters, socks, and Alice + Olivia dresses (had to check whether that was a "+" or an "and" - fortunately for me I happen to have one on the floor right next to me).  Seriously, this mess is a job for Ty Pennington's "Extreme Makeover: Closet Edition".  But don't bother calling that fashion catastrophe Niecey Nash from "Clean House" - while I maybe closet messy, I'm anything but dirty.


Does white really end on September 6th? Is it from fashion past? Should white linen pants even be a summer staple?

Posted By AnnieHermesblue on Sep 7, 2010 at 5:48PM

As I was getting ready to embark to wine country this past weekend and last Tuesday began packing... pathetic I know.  I couldn't  help but think because its Labor day does it mean I should bring those masculine looking linen pants in the back of my  closet? I mean you put them on you get in the car or sit down and then you stand up and everything looks terrible down there.... there are stains and wrinkles and the optical illusion of a big disfigured waist... its almost like your pants got herpes.... no one wants to say anything, but everyone is looking thinking poor girl she has shit all over her pants- so happy its not me...

Anyway, you guessed it I didn't bring any pants and/or white sandals/shoes, which mind you are almost worst.... the only way one could probably keep those bottom feeders clean is with a shoe condom and I don't know about you, but that sounds terrible...So today Im on facebook taking a break from my busy work day and so satisfied in my polka dot skirt and black cardigan while the rest of the women in the office are living a marshmellow mayhem- trying to piece together all their semi work appropriate summer white pieces together for the "last day of summer"... yes ladies I saw some yellow stained white pumps....SHOE CONDOM I tell you only way! And all of a sudden these posts start coming up about how they will miss wearing white?  I tell you I just don't get it.  I wear white all the time in Fall, Winter,Sex and Spring.... For example, what is wrong with a gorgeous crisp white shirt tucked into beautiful olive green pencil skirt this season with a big brown leather and gold belt cinched around your waste and for winter what about a sexy winter white wide legged suit with a black tight sexy scoop neck american apparell camisole underneath,and spring what about a white button down tied on top  a sexy bright pink BCBG Herve knock off skirt- that just makes your bump look marvelous!  And in bed with your hunny? I never got any complaints with a little pair of white boy shorts and camisol no bra of course and if busty think sexy triangle lacy bra .  So is that white that we so desperately wait to wear f every year really necessary or is there a reason we dont have to see this marshmellow madness all year long? Last time I checked I wasn't out to be Diddy's girlfriend...

The picture is of my mother....that's how you wear white!

// Group Members